Continued from part 4 of A letter to a church.

My intention in writing this letter is that it will help you to
understand one person’s prayerful journey to accepting his sexuality
and the man God intended him to be. I realize too that many readers
will consider me a sinner and will react to my story with the “Love
the sinner, hate the sin” response. With that in mind, the most
loving response I can imagine would be for those taking this stance
to consider the following: “Perhaps, God has called some of his
children to be gay. Perhaps the traditional teachings of the Church
are based on years of prejudice and misinterpretation of God’s
word.” Then within that framework of openness, prayerfully study
the Scripture in light of the cultural context in which it was
written and study the meaning of these often-cryptic words in the
original Greek.

In my years at Park Community Church I have established many
friendships that God has truly used to help me grow and be
transformed into His image. However, I feel deeply convicted that
God is leading me elsewhere now. I have found a new church home
where all of God’s children are welcome; a church where my two
beautiful children can grow and thrive in the love of Christ and
witness me flourish in my faith. Now every Sunday morning I stand
shoulder to shoulder with my fellow Christians and cite the Apostle’s
Creed in a loving, accepting community:

I believe in God the Father Almighty
Maker of Heaven and Earth,
And in Jesus Christ his only Son our Lord.
Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost
Born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate,
Was crucified, dead, and buried; he descended into hell;
The third day he rose again from the dead;
He ascended into heaven,
And sitteth on the right hand of God the Father Almighty;
>From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead;
I believe in the Holy Ghost; the holy catholic church;
The communion of saints; the forgiveness of sins,
The resurrection of the body; and life everlasting.
Amen

I realize that there are many out there who believe that the Kingdom
of Christ does not include God’s homosexual children, and these
judgments have resulted in many homosexuals leaving the Church and
rejecting the claims of Christ. I, however, boldly stand firm in the
face of these judgments and projections, standing firm in God’s
promise outlined by the Apostle Paul in Romans 8:37-39:

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who
loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither
angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any
powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ
Jesus our Lord.

My hope one day is that Park Church will be a place where all of
God’s children will be welcomed, and challenged to live Godly lives
regardless of their sexuality. Until that time, however, it is with
great sadness that I respectfully withdraw my name from membership at
Park Community Church.

In God’s Love,

Todd Zimmerman

Continued from part 3 of A letter to a church.

I studied and read arguments from both sides of the debate. On both
sides of the debate, I saw truths outlined and I saw God’s words
manipulated in order to fit a preexisting bias. I sifted through the
arguments and let the Scriptures be the guide, willing to accept a
life of celibacy if that is what God had intended. As I studied, I
was most disheartened by the nearly universal theme on the
traditional Christian argument that equated homosexuality with
recreational sex and fetishism, an argument that was clearly meant to
instill fear and disgust amongst the readers. Like these authors, I
agree that this is not the way that God has called us to express our
sexuality, whether in a heterosexual or homosexual context. What I
did find lacking from the traditional arguments was a biblically
based rationale for prohibiting loving, monogamous, same sex
relationships. What I came across were distortions of the original
Greek texts that were reminiscent of how the Church at one time used
the Scriptures to condone racism and slavery, condemn inter-racial
marriages and turn its back on issues like domestic violence.

In the midst of my reading, I came across one influential work
entitled, The New Testament and Homosexuality by Robin Scroggs. The
author, a heterosexual New Testament scholar with no apparent hidden
motivation, set out to study the classic Scriptural references to
homosexuality in light of the cultural context in which they were
written. The conclusion? There is no biblical mandate against
consensual, monogamous, loving, same sex relationships. For me, this
conclusion was even more justifiable in light of the fact that Christ
himself never mentioned or condemned homosexuality.

So I don’t know why I’m gay. What I do know is that my sexuality is
an integral part of my being, and it is not a choice, conscious or
otherwise. What I have learned though is that as a gay man, I am
pleasing to God. Several weeks ago, I heard a sermon on the
following passage from Jeremiah, Chapter 18.

The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord saying, “Arise and go
down to the potter’s house, and there I shall announce my words to
you.” Then I went down the potter’s house, and there he was, making
something on the wheel. But the vessel that he was making of clay
was spoiled in the hand of the potter, so he remade it into another
vessel, as it pleased the potter to make.

Through this sermon, I learned that there is not one design for God’s
children and that God created other vessels that are equally as
pleasing to him. As a result, my relationship with God is now
stronger than ever. Stronger because I now see myself as God has
truly intended me to be and for the first time in my life, I see and
feel that I am pleasing to God.

I am deeply saddened however, to see how countless Christian churches
continue to reject many of God’s children. It is not surprising that
rates of depression and substance abuse are higher among homosexual,
which I believe to be in part attributable to the fact that
homosexuals are frequently marginalized by society, and told by many
Christian churches that they are evil, and thus not worthy to enter
the fold of Christ. During my reading, I was particularly offended
to see many of the traditional arguments use the high rate of
depression and substance abuse as an argument for why homosexuality
is evil, failing to see this as a call to compassion, to bring those
hurting and marginalized by society to find peace and comfort in the
love of Christ.

…to be continued tomorrow…

Recently a great many alumni received an email from President Litfin. I’ve noticed a number of responses from people on their blogs, and thought it would be good to consolidate those here and provide a central place for students, faculty and Litfin himself to read the responses.

I write to ask you for your prayers.

On Thursday and Friday of this week we will be visited by a group of homosexual activists traveling on a bus tour across the United States to various Christian college campuses. Their agenda is to draw negative media attention to institutions who maintain an historic biblical stand on the issue of homosexuality. This, of course, Wheaton does. (See Wheaton’s Community Covenant ) Hence our place on their list of targeted institutions.

We did not invite these visitors to our campus. But since they are intent on coming anyway, we decided to make a virtue out of a necessity by turning their coming into a teaching opportunity for our students. Given the ongoing changes in our culture, today’s students are potentially facing a lifetime of confrontations over the issue of homosexuality. What should be their Christian response? We have endeavored to prepare our students to respond to these visitors with the biblical balance captured in the injunction to “speak the truth in love.”

Wheaton’s provost, Dr. Stan Jones, a psychologist who has done extensive work in the area of human sexuality, has prepared a biblical rebuttal to the false teaching of this group. (See “CACE Resources on Homosexuality ”) These and other written materials, along with various scheduled meetings and chapels, have been devoted to helping our students understand the many issues and shape a balanced Christian response. This process has been highly educational for all involved.

After this event is over, we will let you know how it went. In the meantime, please pray for us, asking that God will be glorified, His truth will be upheld with grace and humility, and our Christian witness to a watching world will be an effective one.

Thank you.

Duane Litfin
President
Wheaton College

Please post your response in the comment section below.

Continued from part 2 of A letter to a church.

I felt a wave of peace flow through my entire being. I felt like
Harry Ashfield, the small boy in one of my favorite short stories,
The River by Flannery O’Connor. In this allegory, Harry is a boy
searching and struggling for meaning and purpose when his sitter
takes him to the river for a baptismal service. The preacher
baptizes Harry and then tells him, “You count now.” Afterwards, the
sitter takes him back to his loveless home where everything is a
joke, and upon awakening the next morning, Harry dreams of the
river. So he returns and finds the riverside healing place now
deserted. He bounds into the water, takes a gulp and stands there
trying to decide what to do next. One thing for sure he isn’t going
to fool with preachers this time. He’ll baptize himself and find this
Kingdom of Christ where he thinks life will be so much better than it
is back home. He ducks under the water and tries to stay there but
the river pushes him back. He tries again,

“…and the same thing happened. The river wouldn’t have him.”

He decides it’s just another joke. He gets angry, kicks out at the
river and the next thing loses his footing,

“…and the waiting current caught him like a long gentle hand and
pulled him swiftly forward and down. For an instant he was overcome
with surprise; then since he was moving quickly and knew that he was
getting somewhere, all his fury and his fear left him.”

In my life, I tried desperately to be heterosexual only to be “pushed
back” like Harry in the water. As I continued my struggling against
what God had intended for me, God, in the midst of my brokenness,
pulled me with his gentle hand into the life that Christ had intended
for me. Like Harry who stopped struggling once the hand of God
gently pulled him under, so too my struggle ended and my fury and
fear left me.

Tears streamed down my face.

With my newly gained acceptance of whom God had intended for me to
be, my struggle was now intellectual as I sought to reconcile my
sexuality with my understanding of the Scriptures. So I prayerfully
studied the Scripture in the hopes of gaining clarity on this complex
and emotionally charged issue.

…continued tomorrow…

Continued from part 1.

So I married. I married in the hopes that if perhaps I just tried
it, God would then provide me the freedom from my struggle. Well,
the marriage failed and while there were many reasons for the
failure, it is undeniable that my struggle with my sexuality was one
of the key factors. In our marriage bed, I struggled desperately.
What should have been a beautiful expression of our love left me
feeling hollow and depressed, falling far short of the physical
intimacy, the “one-flesh” experience that God intended for his
children.

As the marriage continued to unfold, I sat in a weekend retreat four
years ago being guided in prayer. During that session, we were asked
to listen to our hearts because God had a message for us. As I
quieted myself before God that morning I heard with alarming
clarity, “Todd, you are a gay man.” I was startled and shaken. The
message was so clear and delivered with such authority that on a
visceral level I knew it had to be God. However, I was so scared
that I convinced myself that this message was not from above, but
from Satan in attempt to deceive me.

Next I bought into the argument that my struggle with same-sex
attractions was somehow the result of “bad parenting” or unresolved
conflicts from my childhood. Building upon years of counseling, I
turned to therapy under the guidance of a trusted Christian therapist
and for the next few years, I made the courageous decision to face
the pain, fear and anger resulting from growing up in an imperfect
world. Through this process, I tapped into the river of sadness
within me, faced the dragons of my fears and cleansed myself of years
of unresolved anger. I sought help and counsel through different
therapeutic milieus and for a three-year period, I dedicated three
nights each week in an attempt to heal and overcome these desires.

God is indeed faithful, because I did heal and I did find new clarity
in my life. I felt safer in the world. I found deeper connection in
relationship with others. More importantly, I found myself closer to
God as I was able to free myself of old stories and lies about who I
thought God was. Through it all though, my struggle remained the
same. Despite years of prayer, despite years of therapy and healing,
despite an attempt at marriage, my struggle with same-sex attractions
continued.

Things changed for me this spring after I joined a men’s care group
at Park Church where we studied the book, Wild At Heart. In one of
the chapters, we were challenged to examine our wounds in the light
of Christ’s healing, and in this section, I was particularly drawn to
one of the prayers:

Father, who am I to you? You are my true Father—my Creator, my
Redeemer, and my Sustainer. You know the man you had in mind when
you made me. You know my true name. O Father, I ask you to speak to
me, to reveal to me my true strength and my real name. Open my eyes
that I might see, give me ears to hear your voice. Father, I ask
that you speak it not once, but again and again so that I might
really receive it. And grant me the courage to receive what you say
and the faith to believe it.
In Jesus Name.

For the weeks and months that followed, I lived and breathed this
prayer, seeking clarity from God about whom he had intended me to
be. As the fog lifted, I came to understand clearly that the message
I had heard four years earlier on that retreat, those simple words
whispered with such authority and clarity, was truly the voice of
God. So as I completed the last line of the prayer, “And grant me
the courage to receive what you say and the faith to believe it,” I
came to fully understand that yes, I am a gay man.

…continued tomorrow…

September 20, 2004

To Park Community Church,

Since February 1989, I have called Park Community Church my home and
I can say unequivocally that God has blessed me during these past
fifteen years. At this point in my life, however, I believe that God
is calling me elsewhere and I hope to share with you in these next
few pages a brief summary of my journey thus far.

When God brought me to my knees after the collapse of my marriage, I
chose to seriously examine those areas of my life in need of healing,
and one aspect that clearly required examination was my sexuality.

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with same-sex
attractions and for equally as long, I have wondered what was wrong
with me. Like most raised in the Christian church, I was raised with
the understanding that homosexuality was immoral, and an
abomination. As a small child, this shame was further compounded as
I witnessed members of Christian churches laughing at debasing jokes
about homosexuals and condoning, whether directly or through their
silence, violence against homosexuals. Confused and terrified, I
remembered crying out to God asking what was so wrong with me that
even the body of Christ, his church, would condone or even commit
violence against me.

So I kept silent. I kept silent to protect myself. I kept silent to
protect my family. I kept silent because as a struggling young
child, I had no idea what to do. Out of legitimate fear, I didn’t
dare tell anyone about my struggle, so I did what I was taught to do
in Sunday school. I prayed.

And I prayed; for over thirty years I prayed that God would free me
from these same-sex attractions and somehow or another awaken in me
a “normal” attraction to women. For over thirty years, I was
disappointed and bewildered as to why God was not willing to change
me. I struggled with feelings of inadequacy that somehow or another
God didn’t think I was worth the effort. I could not understand why
I could not be granted this simple victory despite my faithful
efforts to seek Him. Seeing that this was not going to change
through prayer alone, I bought into the argument that my sexuality
was somehow a choice and jumped head first into heterosexual
relationships. This I prayed would provide me the liberation that I
so desperately sought.

…continued tomorrow…

This week we bring you another series of post from an alumni of Wheaton College.

Todd Zimmerman writes:

I’m 42 years old, class of 1985 and have only come out (to myself) and others over the past 2-1/2 years. I posted this because I see other people struggling with the reconciliation of their faith and sexuality. I’ve attached a rather verbose letter that I sent to my previous church when I withdrew my membership.

Over the next few days you’ll have the chance to read Todd’s letter to his previous church.

Dear Wheaton College students, staff and faculty:

This memo will give you an overview of events and
issues for the April 20-21, 2006 visit of the
Soulforce Equality Ride to Wheaton College; I hope you
will find this information helpful. I will begin with
a quick summary of the Soulforce schedule, then move
to general information about the visit, and then give
you more information on the scheduling of campus
“events” involving the Soulforce Equality Riders.

The schedule at a glance:
* Thursday afternoon (4/20), 3:30-5:00 PM, Coray
Gym, Equality Rider presentation “Letters to Mel.”
Campus community only.

* Thursday night (4/20), 7:00-9:00 PM, King Arena
(SRC), Equality Riders and Wheaton College Panel
Discussion. Open to public.

* Friday afternoon (4/21), 3:30-5:00 PM, Coray Gym,
Equality Rider presentation “A History of Violence.”
Campus community only.

* Thursday (4/20) and Friday (4/21) afternoons,
1:30-3:30 PM, Beamer Center, Equality Riders
interact informally with interested students.

* Saturday, (4/22), 10:00AM-noon, Barrows
Auditorium, post-event dialogue and debrief.

General Information:

We have been preparing for the Soulforce visit by
carefully watching what has transpired at the other
college campuses that have been visited by the
Equality Ride. We have been encouraged that those
visits have generally been peaceful and not disruptive
of campus life. Soulforce has stated repeatedly that
they will not implement civil disobedience or other
disruptive techniques here on our campus.

Who are our visitors? It has been reported in the
press that about half of the Equality Riders do not
identify themselves as Christians. Some of those
that do identify themselves as Christians do not
articulate their religious faith in ways that
members of our community would recognize as orthodox,
but other Equality Riders do. Students and other
members of our community will have an opportunity to
share and show the love and truth of Jesus Christ with
our visitors (including the Equality Riders, any
media, and other visitors).

We have reports from other colleges of some
meaningful interactions occurring between Equality
Riders and the Christian college students. If you
choose to interact with the Equality Riders, we urge
that you listen to them but that you also not be
afraid to speak. Ask them to share their story, but
do not let the interaction become just one-way. Do
not be afraid of sharing your faith in our Savior, or
why you have confidence in the moral teachings of the
Bible. They will have had similar conversations at
campuses visited earlier in their ride.

Remember also that the Soulforce Equality Riders are
activists. As activists, they want to influence the
College to change its stance on sexual morality. They
would like the College to retreat from its confidence
in the Bible’s explicit teachings on sexual morality.
To accomplish this goal they will ask us-and you-to
suspend moral commitment for the sake of dialogue.
They will also seek to portray Wheaton in the media as
“intolerant” and “oppressive” (two words they often
use) in order to create public pressure for change to
their point of view.

You should not feel compelled to speak to any media
who may be present for this event. We have not given
permission for cameras and recorders to be present on
campus outside of a specific media area (yet to be
determined). If you are approached for a comment on
camera, the media crew is violating our
pre-established agreements with the media. If you do
interact with the media, be aware that what you say
may have an impact far from campus and for some time
to come. Also, the media rarely report in full what
we say, and so comments taken in isolation may appear
out of context in a way that creates misunderstanding
of your meaning. We urge you to use prayerful
discretion if you choose to speak to the media.

On their visits this spring to some other Christian
College campuses, the Equality Riders have broken a
few pre-established agreements about their visit, but
these have not been serious violations. Examples have
included distributing literature when they had been
asked not to do so, or entering buildings or areas of
the campus restricted from their visit. We have asked
the Equality Riders to limit their campus access to
the Beamer Center except when going to pre-arranged
events in other venues.

We hope that the visit by the Equality Riders will be
free of conflictual or unloving interactions. Should
such events occur-whether involving a Wheaton
community member, an Equality Rider or outside
visitor-we urge mature persons present to take action
to calm the situation. Some may seek to provoke
strong reactions with forceful statements. The most
serious act of aggression against the Equality Ride so
far occurred at Lee College, where their bus was
apparently vandalized with spray paint by outside
persons. This act was met with the response of Lee
students cleaning the bus, a gracious act of love.

Remember, the Equality Riders are activists but they
are also fellow human beings made in the image of God
and loved by Him. They, like we, are sinners in need
of God’s mercy and of the message and reality of the
Gospel. May God be glorified and Christ’s Kingdom
advanced by our response to this event.

More information on the “events” we will have on
campus during their visit:

The Equality Riders will be on campus on Thursday
(4/20) from late morning through the evening, and
again on Friday (4/21) from late morning through
about 5PM.

Lunches on both Thursday (4/20) and Friday (4/21)
and dinner on Thursday (4/20) have been pre-arranged
for the Equality Riders and different member of the
College community.

The Equality Riders have been granted permission to
interact informally with interested students in the
Beamer Center between 1:30-3:30 PM on both Thursday
(4/20) and Friday (4/21).

On Thursday afternoon (4/20), 3:30-5:00 PM in Coray
Gym, the Equality Riders will make a presentation
entitled “Letters to Mel [White].” This presentation
has been described as “A reading of letters to Rev.
Dr. Mel White, some from GLBT persons of faith and
some from people who oppose Soulforce views.” The
presentation will last about 45 minutes, followed by a
10 minute response by a Wheaton College faculty
member, and the remainder of the time dedicated to
Q&A. Only Equality Riders and members of the Wheaton
College community will be admitted to this event by
showing proper identification.

On Thursday night (4/20), 7:00-9:00 PM in King Arena
(SRC), the Equality Riders will join Wheaton College
representatives to present a Panel Discussion.
Representatives of Soulforce and of Wheaton College
will make comments for 30 minutes each, and the
remainder of the time will be dedicated to Q&A with
the audience. This event will be open to the public.

On Friday afternoon (4/21), 3:30-5:00 PM in Coray
Gym, the Equality Riders will make a presentation
entitled “A History of Violence.” This presentation
has been described as “Surveys the development of
homophobia and the resultant oppression and violence
against GLBT people.” The presentation will last
about 45 minutes, followed by a 10 minute response by
a Wheaton College faculty member, and the remainder of
the time dedicated to Q&A. Only Equality Riders and
members of the Wheaton College community will be
admitted to this event by showing proper
identification.

After the Equality Riders depart, we will host a
post-event dialogue and debrief for all interested
members of our community. This will take place
Saturday (4/22), from 10:00AM-noon in Barrows
Auditorium. This will be a time to reflect on what
has transpired, discuss lessons learned, critique our
response, and discuss anything the audience wishes
about the Soulforce visit.

From
Soulforce’s Equality Ride: Colorado Christian University and United States Air Force Academy

The next morning we held a press conference at the North Gate of the United States Air Force base. Many community members attended and we clothed them in blue “end religious-based oppression” tee-shirts. Together we drove to the chapel on base and 10 people stood in a vigil line with tape over their mouths representing the 10,000 people whose voices have been silenced by their discharge since the 1993 inception of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” DADT is a government sanctioned discrimination and is based on the untruth that neither society nor soldiers are ready to see openly gay people in the military. A Gallup poll in 2003 showed that 79% of Americans were in support of gay/lesbian/bisexual people in the military. One of the riders held an oversized poster board check made out to the U.S Department of Defense for 364 million dollars which is the amount of money tax payers have spent to replace the 10,000 gay discharges since 1993, which includes 60 Arabic/Farsi translators and 300 medics which would be very helpful in Iraq right now.

Katie Higgins, equality rider, spoke, “Who wants to sign this check? I don’t want to sign this check, do you? My father and grandfather served in the military and this money had been used to insure that I cannot follow in their footsteps and serve my own country. Do you, Commandant, wish to sign this check? Or perhaps Pres. Bush would like to sign it? Are there any cadets here who would like to sign it? Why are you walking away from me, is it because you do not want to sign this check?” She was arrested along with 10 other riders and community members for attempting to speak out about the myths and facts concerning gays in the military.

This is a very intriguing and interesting piece from Soulforce that is worth a viewing for any student that is going to be discussing these issues with GLBT students that come to your campus. (The video is about 30 minutes long)